10 Steps to Making Your Own Bollywood Production


It seems that these days Bollywood movies are the rage and its no wonder. I mean who wouldn’t want to watch love stories that are supplemented by wild dance moves and songs. Let’s not forget the scientifically impossible fight scenes that are preceded by yelling so intense that you could feel the tension engulf you and it might just make you start yelling at the screen like a crazy person! The truth is everyone wants in on the fun of Bollywood movies, and now you can get in on it. Just follow these simple guidelines to make your own hit Bollywood movie.

1. Songs. Remember the key to any great Bollywood movie is to have an abundance of songs. Scenery should change instantaneously and the entire neighborhood should come out in uniform clothing and start dancing to choreographed moves. In a typical 3 hour-long Bollywood movie you should have about 6 songs.

2. You must have a famous actor in your movie. Bollywood movies without superstar actors do not take off because Desis watch movies based on who is acting rather than plot, genre, reviews, or anything else. Try to include one of the Khans, as in: Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Salman Khan, etc. You have to also include a famous actress, but only if she looks good next to the lead actor, so that audience can say, “Yes, they make a realistic couple. You can feel their chemistry.”

3. Remember that when your characters become frustrated they have to start speaking broken English.

4.The storyline should revolve around a lovey dovey romance. All other plot points should involve the love story. That is all Bollywood audiences want to see. Remember the only motivation for anything is a love story and the parents who forbid it. Other plots can be included but they are second to the love story and should serve in some way to support the love story.

5. When your characters speak, they should look into the camera and not the character that they are speaking to.

6. Obeying gravity is optional especially in fight scenes. Remember it’s your movie; you can choose which scientific laws to obey or disobey at any time.

7. There absolutely must be one very slow scene where at least one person cries. The music should be overly dramatic to the point where you wonder why this is happening to you (even though you’re just watching a movie). Zooming in on the crying person’s face is highly recommended. The crier should gasp for air from crying too hard while trying to talk at the same time. This scene is necessary and your movie will be incomplete without it. Often producers like to end the crying scene with someone screaming and then cutting to the next scene as if nothing happened.

8. Every Bollywood film must perform a medical miracle. There is usually one endearing character in each film, that gets shot directly in the chest ten times. No one seems too worried, as the character kinda disappears in the film and reappears the least few minutes of the movie as if nothing happened.

9. Bollywood movies don’t have umbrellas, instead they just dance in the rain sadistically. The most disturbing part is, in every movie they find an abandoned barn for shelter, continuing the awkward romance with no touching.

10. Make sure your main character’s friends laugh hysterically at jokes that aren’t really funny and also hit each other on the back while the main character stares off into the distance thinking about the love of his life. As a result, he’s abruptly startled when his friend slap him on his cheek to ask what’s up. At this point, he flashes a boyishly charming grin into the camera.

There it is in a nutshell. By following these simple pointers you can make your own Bollywood production, remember to reference this list.



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